Driving around Regina the other day I had the feeling that something inside of me changed. Whatever it was - it's not really something I can identify - but I feel it was a good thing.
The feeling was a few things... I felt as though it came with peace from God.
One thing that came along with it was the sense that it's o.k. to be weak sometimes. I hadn't felt like I had been playing the tough guy - or trying to negatively 'keep a strong front' - however, the feeling resonated inside of me intensely.
I had conversations throughout the day with different people that circled around some really dark stuff
- rebellion of a child - some resolution to that - the anxiety along with that...
- incredible hardship in another's life - sickness, pain... some things that I really felt were tough even for someone who was tough.
- with a fellow pastor - the challenge of the ministry - the beauty of people - and we both shared things we wondered about in the church...
(he also shared a story from his beginnings in ministry where he was visiting with some people in an old folks home and one lady said to him, "Do you know who I am?" - he was thinking perhaps she was a matriarch from the church, or a relative of someone he knew, but unable to place her said, "no, I'm sorry - who are you?" "Well," she replied,"I'm your mother.") oh, o.k. - hello mom...
in the middle of this - I'm driving around Regina feeling very much overwhelmed at the Spirit of God, I realized I hadn't felt His presence in this way for awhile... and I started to weep - I really missed Him.
I practice time alone - I read the bible - all sorts of other books - I pray - I worship... but there are other times I've found when the Spirit sings something into my soul that really catchs me off guard. Shows me color when all I see is dull shadow.
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